RAY BREMSER MEMORIAL
SECTION NINE

sm
COLUMN SEVENTY-FOUR, AUGUST 1, 2002
(Copyright © 2002 Al Aronowitz)

AN EXCERPT FROM:
ANGEL


(Adapted from Tom Clark's drawing for the cover of the WATER ROW PRESS edition of POEMS OF MADNESS & ANGEL)

[ANGEL was originally published in 1967 by TOMPKINS SQUARE PRESS and reprinted by WATER ROW PRESS, PO Box 438, Sudbury, MA 01776. This excerpt, the opening section from ANGEL,  appears here with the permission of Jeffrey Weinberg, publisher of WATER ROW PRESS and literary executor of the poet’s estate.]

(THE WORK OF ONE NIGHT IN THE DARK/SOLITARY CONFINEMENT, NEW JERSEY STATE PRISON, TRENTON)

ALL ON A STROMBERG-CARLSON

LISTEN, MY FRIEND, THIS IS AN ACTUAL REPORT OF WHAT TRANSPIRED AS WE ARRIVED AT PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE & 18TH  STREET, THE FEDERAL CAPITAL OF ALL THIS TRAFFIC  CALLED NATION...SICK AS A CUR ON BOOZE, I STOOD, HOLDING MY STOMACH & DIDN'T IMAGINE THE END OF EVERY STOMACHACHE WAS REPOSED 300 FEET TO THE LEFT OF ME...BUT I DID, I ACTUALLY LOOKED ACROSS THE PARK & INTO A WINDOW...HALF SHUTTER-DRAWN-UP & YES, YES, CALLING...CALLING IN A LANGUAGE I DIDN'T KNOW BUT HAD INBRED SOMEHOW WITHIN MY OL' SKINNY BEEF HEART, SOON TO SEE, TO SPEAK IT SILENTLY & WRAP MY ENTIRE LIFE FOR ALL TIME FUTURES IN TOMORROW & TOMORROW, FRIDAY MORNING FLY!  COME SATURDAY, COME HEYDAY, ON 19TH STREET, WE'LL LIVE ON 19TH STREET & MARRY HARRY!  LISTEN...THE MOOS...THE WHEES...THE BLOSSOMS BREATHING.

ON 19TH STREET TO DIE...YES, OUT OF MY HEAD, MY MIND, BUT NOT SO COMPLEX YET...A PRIMARY SQUARE MOVING IN AN ORB OF HIP & I'M NO TOO COOL FOR MY GOOD NOR EVER WILL BE...HOT & IMPETUOUS, I SHOOT OFF MY WHOOPERMOUTH & GERMINATE THOSE GOVERMENTAL ASSKISS SATELLITES ABOUT MY HEAD WHICH, DAMNFOOL FOOLISH, STRUTS & MOCKS & FLAUNTS BONE IN THE HONORABLE JUSTICE'S GRAY DROOPY SKY!  I TALK TOO MUCH & POKE 5 ON MY NOSE AT THEM TOO MUCH & DO NOT RECOGNIZE THEIR RIGHT TO EVEN WHISTLESTOP MY STEALING AN APPLEI! RED, ON FRUITCART UNATTENDED!  YES!  MY HEAD!  THAT'S IT...LOOK AT IT!  SEE IF I'M IN IT ANYMORE...

(...THE 22ND OF FEBRUARY WAS MY BIRTHDAY...1 MINUTE AFTER MIDNIGHT ON A SUNDAY...THE HOUR OF OL' BRIGHT WONDER SOL!  FROM SOLOMON?  SURE, WHY NOT... & SOMEWHERE LEO WAKENS!  SHE IS NAKED & THE SUN TORTURES HER TORSO...IT IS COLD.  FEBRUARY 27TH...FRIDAY...1959...INTO THE TUB AND SCRUBS IT (FOR ME!), DOES HER TEETH WITH BAKING POWDER GIRDLES UP & STOCKINGS, SKIRT & SWEATER, NAVY LADY OFFICER'S COAT & OFF...MAYBE A DIFFERENT COAT, I DON'T SEE TOO WELL IN THE DOUBLE SUNLIGHT STUCK ALREADY IN THE KEN, THE WILL, THE 50 THOUSAND CHAMBERS OF MY FAULTY HEAD.  HAUNTED ALREADY, 9 AM!  I WAKE & ME & ROI & ABE SPLIT, DISCOVERING WASHINGTON DOWNTOWN, ARTSY-MOVIE FIRST FROM 6TH STREET OVER TO EMBASSY ROW, STOMP OUT WAKEUP CHORUS FOR ALLEN & PETE & GREGOR THE GREGORIAN!  SCIENCE-FICTION RIFF ON A ZONKED BOX!  BAG OF MARIJUANA!  MORNING HIGH! & LEO!  SUNNY!  SHIVERY...COOL...& BLIND...I TURN ME ON THE VERY FIRST TIME! & NOTHING!)

WHY HIGH? (BUT IN REFORMATORY DIDN'T I FLOAT ON MESCAL IF I COULD?  DIDN'T I ACTUALLY SURVIVE BECAUSE OF THAT?  THOSE LAST 2 HELLISH YEARS, CRIPPLING YEARS...6 YEARS IN ALL...THE FRIGHT OF WAKING UP TUNED IN ON AN OBSCENE & EVIL MADNESS OF INDIFFERENCE...NO!  IT WAS POETRY SAW ME THROUGH...GOT IN MY SQUAWK & GROIN & SINUS TROUBLE...POETRY PULLED ME THROUGH...& AN ACTUAL HOPE IN THE SIT-WAITING EXISTENCE OF ANGEL...) WHY NOT HIGH?

UNHIGH FROM MY ARMY COT I FIGURED IT OUT.  I SHAPED HER, LIMNED HER, LIMBED HER, TRIMMED HER, BLUED HER, GREW & SYLPHED & HOPED TO GOD & PROPHECIED HER NIGHTLY & BY DARKNESS EVERYWHERE. (WHO'S TO SAY WHAT IS TRUTH?  NOT I, I ONLY SPEAK IT.) I PLUGGED MY EARS UP LISTENING TO THE VOICES IN MY HEAD & THEY SAID BETTER TO DREAM A REAL SIMPLE & HAPPY DREAM THAN PRACTICE IN DEMOCRACY...THE LIGHT FROM HEAVEN PUT IT IN SILHOUETTE, HER TALL & HAUNTING FORM.  I HAD A SHAPE & SOUND OF A DREAM 2 YEARS BEFORE I CAST MY EYES ON ANGEL & GOT WHIPCRACKED ON THE FOREHEAD WITH EXPLOSION INTO SOMEHOW VERY LIFE...I KNEW 2 YEARS BEFORE & MAYBE SO DID SHE...I LIKE TO THINK...

UNHIGH IN SCHOOL IN PRINCETON, ALEXANDRIA...I GET LOST, SHE LISTENS IN...IN PRINCETON ...LESS, AGAIN, THAN 5 MILES OFF...NO WONDER, THE MUSIC OF OBLONG GEOMETRICS, THE SPHERES & CONES!  SHE LUGS IT ALL AROUND BENEATH HER SCHOOLGIRL BREASTS, HER HEART SAGGING SOMEWHERE, HURT ALREADY. ­FORMING...TAKING NAMELESS WINGS FROM ANOTHER REAL DREAM...& UNHAPPINESS! 5 MILES AWAY! 0, GHOST, ONLY RUN OVER THOSE FARMS ACROSS THE CREEK & OVER THE FENCE, CLIMB UP MY WINDOW...I AM LOOKING AT YOUR (STILL) INCOMPREHENSIBLE BLUE EYES...WHY HIGH THE LOON, LOONING IT, HIGH THAT OL' MOON!  CALL ASTAROTH & OTHERS...OPENED THE WINDOW & NEVER CLOSED IT FULLY AGAIN, LETTING HER IN EACH NIGHT, AN ITEM MORE, FOREFORMING...NOVEMBER! 1958! TURNED OUT UNDONE...INSIGNIF­ICANT WITH MY SMALL, HOPEFUL MANUSCRIPTS...WINDOW DOWN & SHE IN VIRGINIA LONG AGO ANYWAY...WHY NOT MIGHTY HIGH?

(...ANYWAY SHEARING PUTS ME TO SLEEP IN DECEMBER...EASY TO MAKE IT WITH BLIND, BEAUTIFUL GEORGE...TIP-TUP-TOUCHING COLORFUL LITTLE CHORDS OF CAREFUL HEAD-SHAKE PURE POINSETTIAS OF JAZZ...THIS ALL FLOATS IN THE NIGHT CLOUDS...EVEN CATCHY TWENTYISH, SHORT FLIPS & ELUCIDATIONS, THE SHEARING SAY-SO...IT'S ALL THERE, THE COSMIC COME-ON, HEAVENLY SEPULCHRE IN THE HEAD...DIG IT!  TUNE IT IN!  BETTER GIT IT!)

TRY TO DISEMBODY IT!  THE VISION IS A SOFT & RED FLUORESCENT OUTLINE...HARD TO TAKE APART, BOIL DOWN TO YESTERDAY; AH - I WRITE THIS IN MY RECENT CELL & SHE RESENTS IT - HOW DO I DARE PICK UP ON ALL MY STRENGTH TO TELL IT?  I WON'T COMMEMORATE!  NO!  TRUBLUE, SAFETY-RAZOR SHARP & CLEAN CUT...KEEP BACK THE TEARS...A MAN DON'T CRY...STAY ON, RESIST, PRONOUNCE WHAT IS THERE & NO MORE...SHE LIGHTS LIGHTLY ON TOP OF IT ALL SANS LIPSTICK, COLDCREAM, NICKNACKS, CURLERS...SLEEPY BROWN-NETLESS HEAD...HOLD OFF THE TEARS, LET ONLY PURE BLOOD FLOW & BREATHE THE BREATH OF HER...BACK...BACK TO WASHINGTON OUT OF MY COLD & 1960 MARCH BLACK EMPTY CELL...

FRIDAY AGAIN, FEBRUARY 27, 1959, NIGHT-TIME...BIG PARTY & GLOOMY LIGHTS IN 6 OR 7 ROOMS...THE POT GOES 'ROUND...HOWIE SNAPS NOODLE PICS FOR ARTICLES UNPUBLISHABLE IN UNCONSTITUTIONAL COUNTRIES..DAVE SLOPS ALONG, UN... ABLE TO... MAKE ...FAST...TALK, THINKING HE'S HIGH...I, IN A WICKERBASKET CHAIR, THE REEFER THIS TIME'S GOT A HALF NELSON IN IT...NO BOOZE FOR ME, MAYBE THAT'S WHY!  ROLLINS, STITT & DIZ LOW-DOWNING IT FUNKY & SNAPFINGERLY SLOW HEAD-SHAKE YEH, SNAP...O, YEH, SNAP, DO, YASS, SNAP...DONTIKNOWIT 0, YEH...SNAP I KNOW IT & WANT IT TOO...LIKE, EVERYONE SHUFFLES LIKE, 10 OF US SUDDENLY WANT BEER WASHINGTON IMPOSSIBLE OFF ON THE STREET, EVERYONE, ROI & WILYUM, ABE, DAVE, NEAL, SOME I NEVER LEARNED NAMES OF & ME, JAMMED IN A STATION WAGON TO MARYLAND & BOOT, WHILE ABE WAILS MOUTH, 'NOTHER TEMPO, SNA SNA SNA SNA...DAVE DRIVES THE ISLAND OVER...

                     JOKIN & POKIN AT THE WHITEHOUSE PASSING...WHERE WE GOING?  HOLY IKE!  WHUT'S HE DOIN NOW TO MAMIE MAN, WE'D CARE EVEN LESS TO KNOW KNOWING ALREADY 'BOUT THEM STRAIGHT UP & DOWN BITS OL' FOLKS SEEM TO FREQUENT...ZOOOM, THE WHEEFRAY!  FREEWAY!  YEH, MAN, IT ALL ADDS UP...APPROACHES TO THE BALTIMORE-D.C. THRUWAY ARE APPROACHES TO YOU, TO END-OF-THIS-DRAG, TO BOMBING REAL NUTTY JOY!  BAM!  THIS KALEIDOSCOPE KNOWS NO LIMITS!  IT'S THE WORLD AGAIN, FINALLY OUTSIDE & I’M RARING & READY & ABLE, MY WINDOW THROWN OPEN...WIDE...SOMEWHERE LATER (I LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS AT THIS POINT...HAVE TO UNDERSTAND OXYGEN TO DIG...) I SLEEP THE HIPPEST SLEEP I EVER SAWED...WINDOW, WINDOW GHOST & A REAL BALLSEY BELIEVABLE TRUMPET SLIGHTLY CORNY-KOOKIE, ROCKS ME...IT'S A SIGN, A COMING-TO, APPROACH...COME SATURDAY, NOW...COME ODD FELLOWS HALL & WOW!  COME CORNY HELL & HIGH-ASS WATER, LOOKIE!  SMACK!  SNAP!  SPERKLE, WHAMO FLIP & FLOOPY FANFARE FLIGHT FOR ANGELS! Now! NOW...

WHY HOW THE HIGH!!! (PAUSE AT RESPECTFUL DISTANCE FROM HER...THINGS ABOUT MANKIND TO REVIEW BEFORE INTRODUCING THE HERO OF THIS CHRONICLE, HEY?  SAY WHAT YOU WILL, ONLY A FEW FRIENDS EVER EXIST AT ONE TIME...I WEEP IT...I HAVE, CONSIDERING, MY WIFE, MY MOTHER, PERHAPS A DOZEN FRIENDS & 20 OR 30 THOUSAND ENEMIES...(ALL OF WHOM I CAN COUNT ON)...& THE CRIME OF MY LIFE FOR WHICH my ANGEL HAS ME PAY NOW IS THIS...THE PLAGUE OF A BLABBERMOUTH ISN'T THE 20 THOUSAND...NO, BUT THE THOUGHTLESS TONGUE, THE INCONSIDERATE MIND, THE (BEAUTIFUL, THO, THIS) UNWARY HEART...SHUT UP YOUR MOUTH IS BEST...AH, ME! AH, ANGEL!  EVEN IF YOU WERE NEVER FULLY RIGHT BEFORE YOU'VE HIT THIS NAIL!

BUT WATCH THE ERRORS THAT MEN DO & WOMEN TOO...THE SORE DOESN'T CURSE THE CANKER OR THE GERM BUT THE ENDS & APPEARANCES!  GOD HELP MY TRUTHFUL STUPID BLABBER-MOUTHING WORRIED & UNWARY HEART!

ONLY, DO YOU SEE IT?  DO YOU KNOW?  HAVE YOU GUESSED THE SECRET, SEEN IT FLIT BY JUST THEN IN A HURRY TO GO UNOBSERVED AMONGST ALL THESE?  IT IS (ODD THAT IT SHOULD BE) ONLY HOPE...& ALL OF MY FEARS DO BULLY HER, HOPE, INTO AN ETERNAL CORNER WHEREAT THEY EVEN CLASH SACKING THE SOIL OF MY SOUL, PRODUCING VISIONS OF SERAPHIM OF CHOIR & OF GOD...SO WATER LOWINSON'S SHASTA DAISIES, TURN ON GREGORY'S SHELLY-HEART, GIVE HER VISIONARY LINEAMENTS, SILVER SENSES & A SUDDEN ROMANTIC FORGIVING & HAPHAZARD FLIPHAPPY HEART...OUT OF THE WAY..INTO THE ODD FELLOWS HALL, GET THE POETRY SAID & READ & DONE (LITTLE DID WE KNOW WE'D TURN HALF OF HIP WASHINGTON ON THAT NIGHT, THE GROOKS & WORMS EATING HER SUBTERRANEAN SEWERS FOR A LONG TIME SINCE & SOME BEFORE)...TRUMPET OUT THE LAST COLD BLAST OF UNHIP & SWING INTO IT HIGH & HOT, YEH, IN THE SOUL, LIKE LOUD STRONG UPTEMPO COLTRANE ENTER YOU

LITTLE FRIGHTENED WONDERFUL PLANT COME OUT OF PRINCETON & 19TH STREET TO SAVE ME & TEACH ME A LESSON YOU DON'T KNOW YET THAT YOU GOT...& LEARN IT FROM ME IN THE OFFING...

I AM TREMBLING NOW, FOR THE FEAR OF OVERSCORING HER...BETTER TO UNDERSCORE...ALL RIGHT, NO MOANING...LOW DOWN REAL VIVID STANDING THERE YUP INTRODUCTION RUN DOWN TO US BY BRICK, A MINOR GOOF LATER REMOVED BY REQUEST FROM WASHINGTON HIPDOM...NOT AN ACTUAL START BUT A STEED IN MY DISTANT WATER­FALLING SCOTCH-DRUNK HEAD ACTUALLY GROWS NERVOUS!  SOME MORE, BUT THAT'S ALL...& THE CHALLENGE OF BIRD-DOG BRICK...I PASS OUTSIDE TO THE STREET, LOOKING BACK, AROUND, ONCE ...

I AM IN DANGER...I DOUBT IF I OR ANYONE CAN GIVE HER HERE WITHOUT THE CAMERA’S ART ...BUT A WISP OF HER...LATER SHE BECOMES AN APPLE TO SHINE, A SLIGHT CYNIC, A GROOVE NO MATTER HOW MEATBALL TO SAY SO, SHE BECOMES A LOCK-SOCKET SENSUAL PACKAGE OF EYEBALL ECSTACIES...0, THAT I SHOULD EVER BE TOLD THAT SHE IS RIDING ANOTHER'S, TONGUE GOING ABOUT, A GROAN & QUIVER, EYES LIKE FLAILED BLUE PEACOCK EYES IN FRANTIC HEAD WHOSE MOUTH EMITS A BARELY TRACEABLE URGE OF SPIT & JUMP-MOAN UP UP JUMP UP WIDE HIGH SOARING LAPLAND RIPROARING INHALE FRANTIC FUCK GIT DOWN!!!  GIT OFF THAT?  ANGEL, GET YOUR DRAWERS ON BEFORE YOU KILL ME I WANT WHAT YOU'RE LAYING ON HIM ON EVERYBODY!  FUCK THERE GO THE TEARS...

I STOP NOW, LISTENING INSIDE MORE INTENSE...GOOFS!  

HOW I BALL IT UP! (THIS IS MY BIG MOUTH TOO...I DO I DO MACMILLAN DO I DAMN WELL GLAD TO WANT TO DO I DO...DIDN'T YOU?) BALLS!  STOP THAT SLOBBERING!

WHY DON'T SOMEONE HELP ME WITH PHILOSOPHY, YOU FUCKING DIRTY MONGRELS!  ALL!

...GET AWAY FROM THAT...THINK I'M OBSCENE?  THINGS TABOO THINK I WANT TO TELL YOU THE INSIDE ESSENCES OF ANGEL, MY WIFE?  THINK YOU'RE CUTE...WELL, SUPPOSE I ACTUALLY DO...BUT IN A MINOR KEY & FIRST OF ALL ON BASS BECAUSE SHE WAS BASS FIRST...PAUL CHAMBERS THE FEINT SOFT SUGGESTION, SATURDAY NIGHT BEDBREAK AFTER MIDNIGHT...NEW SOUND...NEW SOLO...WHOLE 'NOTHER CONCEPTION...

FM RADIO ON THE FLOOR BY THE DOOR...SEE THOSE THOUSAND EMPTY LITTLE BEGGING SPOTS SHAKING FOR CIGARETTE BURNMARKS...EVERYTHING SOONER OR LATER GETS BURNED.  VIZ: THE FINGERS...I TRACE HER RIBS!  THE HIPS & THIGHS...YES, IT IS DECIDED NOW...SUNDAY MORNING, YES, THE VISION'S GROWN TO BIG EXCITING ACTUALITY...LITTLE DID I KNOW THE PAIN I'D CAUSE IT NOR DID SHE FORESEE MINE...PREDICTIONS LEFT MY HEAD!

BUT A PICTURE..I HATE THE WORLD!  THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID, ME TOO!  A PACT YOU THINK THIS IS NOT ENOUGH TO BEGIN A COMPLETE 'NOTHER LIVING?  WATCH...

I WAS BORN IN WASHINGTON DC ON 19TH STREET, THE PAINS OF BIRTH ON 6TH SOMEWHERE...CONCEPTION EVERYWHERE I CHANCED TO LOOK & GO & EVERYTHING I DID RESEMBLED COMING...THAT'S HOW IT IS ANYWAY ORDINARILY, A BIG BEDTIME BACK OF CAR OR GREEN FIELD LAYS-LIKE LIFE FULL OF GYSM & THINKING ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME ON WALL OFF ROADS TO YOURSELF FOREVER...I CAME IN WASHINGTON!  GET YOU YOUR ROCK T00, MY ADVISE 0 YOUTH STUDYING! (SAY, HOW COME YOU BEGIN WITH ANGEL IN THE SADDLE?)

WHAT'S THAT?  WHO'S THE VOICE?  NOT ME...NOT MINE...BUT THE THING IS SIMPLE...THE REST OF THE PAGES ARE USED NOW TO GET HER OFF, OTHERWISE I'D HAVE TO END THAT WAY, 'N A COURSE AINT TRUE AT ALL!  FEEL LIKE A LAWYER...

RETURN TO NUMB NEW YORK.  NOT SICK ANYMORE & ANGEL ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT IT!  ME TOO, ALL THE WAY BACK, 7 OF US IN THE STATION WAGON ...GET 35 HAMBURGERS & A GLASS OF MILK...BACKWARD VISIONS OF ANGEL ON LITTLE TAVERN BEEF GLOBS, UNDER THE SLICE OF PICKLE...

                                                            KEEP IT QUIET. DON'T LET ANYONE KNOW...BAD WORLD WILL TAKE HER AWAY, YOU JUST WATCH!  BUT LATER, WHEN YOU'RE SOLID IN YOUR OWN HIP HEART THAT IT CAN'T BE DONE & BAM, HERE COMES SOME CAT OUT OF NOWHERE, COOL CAT...WITH A KNOWLEDGE OF SWEET DESTROYING EFFECTS OF LONELINESS...WATCH IT ALL CLOSELY...SOMEWHERE IT'S FORETOLD & NOT BY NOSTRADAMUS!  AH, SERAFINA!  MY MARIJUANA SEERESS!  LEAVE ME NO SORE WARNING IF YOU MUST, ONLY DO IT WHILE I'M LOOKING...MORBID, YES!  A MORBID CURIOSITY...I WANT TO SEE THAT T00, IF IT COMES TO THAT, IF IT'S BROUGHT TO THAT....... I DECLARE, AT LEAST, THE FAITH THAT NEITHER OF US SHALL BRING IT - ANYWAY IT WAS THERE...IN HER HEART ONLY LATELY BEFORE WE MET, SOME FINAL DISILLUSION...THERE COULD NEVER BE ANOTHER ONE.  KNOWING THESE SECRETS THE CAVE CALLED MIND DRAWS ITS PICTOGRAMS OF LAST TERRESTRIAL UPHEAVAL...FORM OF SUICIDE, SELF CUT-OFF, REMOVAL...WHISKEY DRUNK FOR A TEA-HEAD, NO GOOD NO GOOD....... MY OWN AT 19 YEARS (THE NUMBER 19 FIGURES IN THIS ALLATIME!), THE STATE'S CASE AGAINST ME...END OF WORLD...SLIP INTO A DREAMING ERA...NEW HOME-MADE EONS, ELEMENTLESS UNTIL YOU BUILD THEM, SHAPE THEM...ONLY TROUBLE WITH A DREAM LIFE IS NO WEIGHT OF DISILLUSION CAN ENTER INTO IT...INSTEAD...INSTEAD OF IT GETTING IN & SPOILING SOME IMPOSSIBLE PORTION, MUDDYING SOME SLICE OF LANDSCAPE...YOU WAKE UP POOF!  NO LIFE, NO WORLD, NO WORTH, NO DREAM, A NIGHT'S WISHING, NOTHING...

EITHER WAKE UP INTO THIS, OR MURDER IT! I ONLY ABLE TO WAKE UP...SHE - SITUATIONAL CONTRIBUTING - ONLY ABLE TO KILL IT...BUT WATCH IT ANYWAY...

BIG JAMBOREE!  POW-WOW GOING ON SOMEWHERE...CONFETTI SPILLINGI THE CELEBRANTS DANCING!  PERHAPS!  A PARTY...LAND A DREAM FOR ME AT HOME ALONE...WRITE LETTER, GOOFY, UNINTELLIGIBLE (THE VISION SUPERIOR TO ITS PERSONAL SEER, ITS FORCE...I HAVE ALL OF HER LETTERS...SHE HAS ONLY HALF OF MINE...I KNOW HER WORTH...NEED THOSE LETTERS TO COOL MY CRAZY, STRAFE MY ROOF, BOMBARD MY VOLCANIC SEETHINGS QUIET, ­GIVE ME BALM & MINSTREL, PEACE & A GREAT DEAL OF MYSELF BACK BECAUSE I PUT A LOT OF ME IN THIS DREAM...YOU COULD TELL IF YOU SAW ME NOW, SALLOW, GRAVE-DIGGERISH, MORTAL NOW THAT IT'S SLIPPING AWAY...DYING & SHRUNKEN...SEE ME NOW & SEE ME THEN...I SEE HER NOW & THEN...ON WALLS, ON FLOORS, OF LATE, ON DOORS, IN THE PILLOW TO CLOSE & SMELLING OF HER MUSK...A CARAVAN OUT OF BASRA, CLINGCLINKING...COME, ANGEL...COME TO ME & TORTURE, THAT'S BETTER THAN NO COME-ON AT ALL...YET BRING ME NO SMALL ANYTHINGI NO HALFS, THE WHOLE CRAZY WEIGHT OF IT...THIS OR THAT!)...& DAYS LATER, A LETTER FROM HER...SWEETIE PIE!  CLARITY!  THE KEY!  NOT KEY TO APARTMENT...SHE KNEW SHE'D BE THERE...THE KEY TO IT ...TO IT!

I ARRIVE AT NIGHT, IN MARCH...EVENING...WE ARE BOTH STILL CONVENTIONALLY UNSURE OF WHAT TO DO...TO SAY, TO HELL, THESE AMERICAN BANSHEES!  COME INTO MY ARMS, ANGEL, LET'S KISS & MUG & BE JOYOUS I LOVE YOU & YOU SOMEHOW SECRETLY KNOW IT...

& I KNOW YOU LOVE ME...  

THAT MOMENT!

THAT NIGHT, THAT EVENING I BECAME HER HUSBAND (... THE BEGINNING OF A HOT TIME TOO HOT SING IT NOT TO COOL DOWN...BUT NOT REALLY WITHOUT A 3RD PARTY, 3RD CHICK, 3RD CAT, 3RD MOTION!  BLABBERMOUTH?  WELL, UNCOOL AS HELL, YES!  CONVICTING, STUPID, UNKIND, YES! 3RD PARTY?  NO, NEVER NO 3RD PARTY FROM ME, FROM MY SIDE...THINK ABOUT IT & WATCH...NEVER No 3RD FROM HER...)

SOMEWHERE BACK IN THE DAWN OF IT, BEYOND THESE SMALL NEWSY ITEMS, IT OCCURRED...THE BREACH IN THE WALL...BIG CALICO GOWN...SOMEHOW STANDING IN CHRISTMAS PARLOR...THE TOYS PRESENTED TO MY ANGEL WERE DEVIL DOLLS & VOODOO PINS FOR HER HAIR...POSSESSED...GOTTEN AHOLD OF... IN THE FIST, LIKE ME...REASON WE ESTABLISHED IMMEDIATE RAPPORT...WATCH THE WAY RAPPORT IS EVERYTHING IN ALL THINGS (JUNE 21...SOON, I LEAVE THIS CELL...LOOK FOR MY DREAM, ESTABLISH RAPPORT & SALVAGE THE WHOLE LOVELY LIFE, & THIS LITTLE WORK ALSO!) (WHY?  WHY...BECAUSE YOU CANNOT DESTROY A DREAM WITH ANYTHING OUT OF A DREAM'S REALM...BELIEVE YOU ME I KNOW, I SAY SO, SO DOES SHE...THE ROSE GROWS...NO MORE PISSING ON IT!)

RAPPORT IMPOSSIBLE TO THE UNPOSSESSED!  RAPPORT IS THE VERY ACTION MIDWAY 'TWEEN DEMONS & ANGELS, PUFF-HEADS, POT­HEADS, JUNKIES, PROSTITUTES & THIEVES & WE ARE THESE...HUGE MOUNTAINS OF TAINTED FLESH MOVING ACROSS AMERICA BY TRUCK BY HECK & BY SOMETHING NOT ABLE TO BE SAID, BUT APPROACHABLE...IN MERCY...IN THE REAL PLAY AT MANUFACTURING DREAMS, HOVERING OVER THOSE HILLS HIGH ON PEYOTE LONG BEFORE EVER TASTING IT!

CACTUS COMPLICATIONS!  THE OPEN ROAD...THE SONG OF THE SKY IN YOUR OWN HEAD, ZUM...BOWING THE BASS, TUNE-UP TIME LIKE SWALLOWS IN CAPISTRANO (BANISH THEM TO CANAVERAL, FUCK UP THAT TREACHEROUS SKY...) ZUP-BUM, THE BASS, THE BACKBONE (ONCE I PLUCKED A RIFF, A GREAT RUN ON ANGEL'S BEAUTIFUL BACKBONE BASS-STRING, THANK YOU, PAUL CHAMBERS) BA ZUM ZUM ZUM ZUM, BA SKEEDILEE BO BA, BA ZUM ZUM PIANA CHATTER IN THE BACK...INTROSWING OF 3 LINES EACH DONE TWICE...THEN, COLTRANE...NEED I BE TALKING ABOUT MORE?  RAPPORT IS...

PUT YOUR LEFT HAND ON YOUR COCK, YOUR RIGHT HAND ON PAGE 3 OF A 4 PAGE DIRTY STORY...YOU THINK THAT'S ONLY A HARDON?  FEEL!  IT'S RAPPORT WITH YOUR PERSONAL OBSCENITY, WHICH YOU'D TAKE AWAY, BUT GET OUTTA MINE!  

0, HOLY ANNUS HOLY EVERYTHING ALLEN SAYS...YOUR LAST CHANCE IS LOOKING AT YOU...PUT DOWN YOUR ARMOR & TAKE LOVE INTO YOUR HANDS...ONCE FEELING THOSE BREASTS YOU CAN NEVER PUT IT DOWN.

...BUT THE BREACH IN THE WALL...A SLIPPER...FATHER O' MINE SOCKWALLOPING AT ME ON HOOKEY...4 YEAR OLD PNEUMONIA WHIPPING...IT ADDS UP...LITTLE DIGITS IN A CLOBBER COLUMN, IN MY CHILDHOOD IT WAS MADE...MY DOGS ALWAYS DIED...GROWING UP, RECOGNIZING THE COLD STREETS, WARNED AWAY FROM THE ALLEY, PLAYING WITH THE DING...IT GROWS INTO A DONG...EVERYBODY'S GOT A BIG DONG!  LARRY RIVERS, NUDIST, KNOWS!  IT GROWS, THIS GROWN, THAT GROWS, I GROW UP...GET GIRLS...GET DAINTY GIRLS, GET DOROTHY, GET PATSY, GET VIVIANNE, GET JOANY...I GET MARION, GET HELEN, I GET CAROLINE & FLORENCE & LORRAINE & GET ARRESTED AT 19 BEFORE WHICH I LOSE MARION, HELEN, CAROLINE & FLORENCE, LOSE LORRAINE...I LOSE DOROTHY, LOSE PATSY, I LOSE VIVIANNE & JOANY...I LOSE, YOU LOSE, WE LOSE, EVERYBODY LOSE...WHO WINS?  THE BLOODY MOTHERFUCKING PIGMY OF SOOT, THE CANNIBAL OF SWIFT MONSTROSITY, DUKE OF DEATH, DENY THAT SONOFABITCH BASTARD REALM...0, ROSE...THE VISION & THE FLIGHT OF MY OWN FRAIL SOUL!

PLAY ON!  PLAY ON!  POLITICAL-PAYOLA-CHESS & CHESSMANESQUE!  FUCK THE CALIFORNIAN LEGISLATURE!  MACHINEGUN EVERY SOLITARY VOICE FOR PRO & CON, NOBODY LEFT STANDING...DESTROY THAT GRUEL, THAT SOUP, THAT BLUESY MAUL & MURDER...I CRACK UP!  I SNAP!  BREAK IT UP!  BLOW FUSES!  MASTICATE THE HARD-ASS MURDEROUS CASUAL WHISTLERS AT LIFE, MY LATITUDES...LEAVE ME ALONE!  GET OFF MY BACK!  MAKE ME NO MARTYR!  I'M NO SAINT!  DON'T WANT IT!  BUT THE SOUP, THE SOUP!  I CAN'T COOL MY SOUP!!!

                                               IF I CANT HAVE MY DAEMONS & MY ANGELS I WILL FIGHT TO TAKE THEM!  MAY NOT LIVE, MAY NOT SURVIVE BUT MAY NOT ALWAYS LOSE EITHER ALSO...IE. THE DREAM!

                        3RD PARTY, LISTEN...YOU MAY DESTROY THE LIVING OUTSIDE FLESH, THE BLOOD OUTSIDE OF IT & STRUCTURES, BUT HOW NOW THE HIGH INSIDE?  THE MILE HIGH & WIDE SMILE ON THE INNER SKULL?  THAT MADMAN'S LUST TO LOVE EVERYTHING IN MY CRAW & MY WALK...THE WAY I HOLD A CIGARETTE OR SLEEP OR SHIT (WE DO NOT SHIT ALIKE...& I DOUBT IF SOME EVEN PULL THEIR TROUSERS DOWN.)...THE WAY I SNIFFLE, FEEL ABOUT IT, WANT IT, MAKE IT, FLAKE OUT OR PETER OUT...HOW CAN YOU GET INTO MY NOGGIN TO THE CRUX & WILL & SOURCE OF IT (IT PUMPS EVEN UP FROM MY HEART...) THINK YOU GOT PROGRESS?  THINK YOU INTA SOMETHING!  THINK YOU MAKE SENSE?  THINK YOU ABLE, CLEAN...THINK YOU WORTHY!  HA, NO! NO NO NO NEVER NO KILLER OF DREAMS...NO KILLER OF DREAMS!  NO GOBLINS OF RUDIMENTARY REALITY WHICH BUZZ AROUND BETWEEN THE SEMI­WORLDS, CHASE DOGS, CRASH CHURCH STEEPLES ONTO THE HEAD'S OF STROLLING POLECATS!  NO!  NO STRIPPERS OF JOY! (...BUT BIG FAT ATTITUDES OF GRADUALLY ODORIFEROUS GRANDIOSITY...FANATICAL FRATRAMATRAHOMELESSICIDE!  THOSE MARRAUDING MUMMERS!  AMERICAN LEGION!  CUB SCOUTS & BROWNIES!  COOTIE-CAR-CLUTCH-CULTS STORMING, STORM-TROOPERING...ROTARIES!  ROSARIES!  THE ROCK­HEARTS OF OL' MASONRY...EGYPTIAN ROSICRUCIANS!  THE WHOLE BOULEVARD IS MISUNDERSTANDING LIFE...WHICH IS ALL RIGHT BUT DON'T BLAME LOVE ONLY LACK OF!  DON'T YOU POINT AT ME!  MY JABBERING, MY GIBBERISH, MY UNINTELLIGIBLE SCREAMS & SCRAWKS & CROAKING...DON'T LAY IT ON MY BACK, MY THOROUGHFARE...I KNOW YOU'D LIKE TO...ISN'T LIKE AS THOUGH I'VE BEEN HUNG ENOUGH & BUGGED ENOUGH & DRAGGED ALONG BY SHEER BULLSHIT ALL MY LIFE THROUGHOUT YOURS...) NO! NO! THINK YOU MEANWHILE?  THINK YOU HOLY MOSES OR JONATHAN OR RAY CHARLES?  THINK YOU EVEN GOT AN AUDIENCE?  YOU GOT NOTHING...YOU GOT YOU & YOU'S NO YOU AT ALL BUT THAT WHICH HAS GONE THE OTHER WAY, WAY AWAY, AWAY FROM IT TO RECONNOITRE MY POSITIONS & AMBUSH MY COMING ON STRONG!

                                                         BUT THE DESTROYER OF POETRY IS DEAD...WE'VE KILLED HIM.  LONG LIVE THE DESTROYER!  WHOSE DESTRUCTION (SO FAR) IS ALREADY INCALCULABLE!  NO BOMB, NO WAR, NO PEACE IN THE CHRIST'S NAME CAN EVER LIQUIDATE ONE HALF THE AMOUNT ALREADY DEAD & MORE TO GO...AMOUNT TO SOMETHING, WE!  NOW POETRY EATS YOUR FACE OFF, SPITS EYEBALLS OUT LIKE PITS!  VOMIT ME NO SAD MUSIC ANYMORE!  THE GRACE IS COME & EVERYBODY'S REALLY FINALLY GETTING HERE & I WELCOME IT...I'M TIRED & LONELY ...TIRED OF WAITING ALONE!  GIVE ME A HARLEQUIN TO DANCE WITH, CELEBRATE...GIVE ME A REASON, A REASON'S ENOUGH & LACK OF A REASON'S ALSO PLENTY SUFFICIENT!  HA! KILLER OF DREAMS!  THE PAST TENSE OF LIFE FOR ME, FROM NOW ON INWARD...I RETIRE TO PERMAMENT SLEEP SO DON'T WAKE ME WHEN YOU PASS LOOKING AT TRIREAMS & RELICS & BROKEN PHILCOS... RUSTICATION FOREVER!  THROUGH THE VALLEY & THE STREAMS, UP TRAILS TO THE UTMOST TOP OF MONEYLESS HILLS & MOUNTAINS TO TURN ON & PISS POETRY OVER THE WATER-FALLS, GIVE A GOD-GIVEN HONEST SHUDDER IN ACTUAL CHANGE OF ONLY BODY TEMPERATURE & FUCK ALL THE PATRIOTICAL MAMBO...LET'S LOAF, EXPAND...& THAT'S ME, MAN, & ANGEL TOO!

BUT THE PRICE IS RIGHT IS SOMETIMES ALSO UNPAYABLE...BETTER CREDIT! (WHAT MUST I DO TO DROP CREDIT TO MY DEBTOR­HEAD & BORROWING MOUTH?  IS IT AN ACTUAL CRIME TO REALLY HONESTLY & TRULY BE AGAINST, STAND UP & SHOUT OUT AGAINST JUSTICE, INJUSTICE, INTOLERANCE, TOLERANCE, STUPIDITY & INTELLIGENCE WHICH ARE ALL CONCEPTIONS OF OFFENSE AGAINST EACH OTHER...EITHER END OF THE STICK WHICH HAS TWO SHITTY ENDS?  I AM ALMOST GOING TO SAY FUCK IT & LET IT BE, I'LL LIVE ALONE WITH ANGEL & ANGEL FOR ME...)

I DREAMED A DREAM 3 YEARS AGO WHICH TOLD ME STRAIGHTFOREWARD TO SCREW DEMOCRACY & ALL OTHER FORMS OF GOVERNMENT 'CEPT ANARCHY, & DREAM THE BEAUTY INTO LIFE OUT OF THE INFINITE & IMMEASURABLE POWER OF LOVE IN THE SMALLEST PARTICLE OF DUST WAITING TO BE DIRT & A PLOP & A STONE INTO A ROCK & A BOULDER ... & WANT TO

BUT MY HEART IS EVEN BIG ENOUGH TO MY MOUTH & GIVES LEAVE & SANCTION TO PUT DOWN THE WEIRDASS CRABS OF EVERYTHING WHICH DENIES ME my ANGEL... INCLUDING THAT INSATIABLE BOOGIE-MAN, ANGEL'S OTHER!  YES!  EVEN THOSE GOOD­DOING CHEWING CHOMP-CLUMP MASTICATORIALS BITING AT MY RATHER STUPIDLY UNARMED SOUL...EVEN THOSE WORMS & THOSE MAGGOTS OF ILL-DECISION. ILL-STREET'S PEOPLE, ERRONEOUS JUDGEMENT, THAT WRONG SLANT!  EVEN THE KNIFE, THE UMBRELLA STUCK IN THE POSTERIOR END OF MY ALIMENTARY GIVES ME SOME SENSATIONS OF LIVING! & LIVING IS LOVING!...OR SHOULD BE DAMMIT LET'S START MAKING!  SING ME NO WRONG SONGS. KEEP THE TEMPO UP & BEAUTIFUL INCLUDING BLUES, SYMPHONIC CHAMBER SOUND, SOUND CONSIDERATIONS. SOLID FLESH OR REAL RAM ROCK & ROLL, THE HANK SNOW HAPPY SIMPLE PRETTY DOPEY HILLBILLY HEAVEN...UNDILUTED!  PURE, FROM THE SPRING OR THE FOUNTAIN INTO MY CISTERN OF EVERY KIND OF WINE!  SOONER OR LATER...THIS OR THAT...HOT OR COOL... ALL THEOLOGIES OF THAT STICK WHICH IS ALSO (SOMETIMES) THE PADDLE WE'RE UP THE CREEK WITHOUT!

                                                              THE DIVINE RECOMPENSE TO IT ALL, THE WHOLE MAWK OF AUTOHORN SUFFERING CRISS & DOUBLE CROSS IS CAUGHT IN THE PENDULUM SWING & CRUX OF LEVITATION!  YOU GOTTA GO!  YOU GOTTA GET INSIDE TO SEE! & SEE THE OUTSIDE ALSO!  GOTTA MOVE & GOTTA FLOAT, TAX YOUR WILL & TROUBLE YOUR HEART (& TAKE ALL THE TIME TIED UP IN THE INITIATIVE...).

... ... ... ALL THERE...THE WORKS...THE WHOLE WALL & THE HOLE IN IT...THE PEEP & SQUEEL & WHEEDLE...THE INTRUDER! IT'S ONE THING ALONE & NOBODY KNOWS & I DON'T EITHER BUT THINK ABOUT IT...ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO THINK ANYMORE THE WHATS & THE WHOLES & THE SLIGHT ADJUSTMENTS MADE ONE TO THE OTHER IN SINCERE ATTEMPT...THE OCCASIONAL MISCALCULATIONS, THROWING THE DELICATE BALANCE OF BOTH OFF KILTER (FACT OF BOTHER GETTING MALALIGNED MEANS SOMETHING ANYWAY.) YET, IN THE EGG-CRATE MIND, THE EMPTY EGG-CRATE HUMAN MIND WITH ITS TEN MILLION CATEGORIES & COMPARTMENTS, ONLY THE SOFT FOG OF UNKNOWING ACTUALLY MOVES ABOUT ENOUGH TO SPOT & UNDERSTAND THAT MUCH...ALL OTHER ELEMENTS STILL, NOT BUDGING!  GLORY BE TO GOD!  LET'S PUSH THEM AROUND, MAKE THEM SOLDIER!

                                                                          DON'T KNOW THOUGH...& WHOSOEVER JUDGES ONE PRIOR TO THE OTHER SHALL BE THEREBY SWAYED & A DOOM IT IS THAT THIS IS ALSO AN ERROR...NO PROOF TO PUDDING...NOT THIS ONE...I SERVE UP 10 CUPS, SHE SERVES UP 90...I PREPARE 6 THOUSAND & SHE GETS KINDA ASTRONOMICAL...STRANGE THAT WE KNOW NOTHING 'BOUT WHO...& I DON'T THINK WE CARE ANYMORE, SO DEEPLY LOVE...IF ONE OF US IS NUTS I'LL TAKE CARE OF HER ANYWAY...WITH LOVE & THE WORLD... (LISTEN TO HER SAYING THE SAME THING.)

WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO?  I MEAN WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO BE DONE?  LOVE EVERYTHING.  OR AT LEAST, LIKE THE HIP, TRY TO...DIG AS MUCH OF EVERYONE YOU CAN & COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY IN THE OUTCOMES NO MATTER WHAT...I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THIS...I AGREE THAT'S ALL, BROTHER.  THAT'S ALL...LEAVE ME LEVITATE, FLOAT ...
(I WILL THE WILL TO DO WHAT THE WILL WILL WOULDST!) WOUDN'T CHEW?
PEANUT CHEW?  CASHEW NUT &
RINKYDINK!
           THE FAT UNPHANTOM & UNFATHOMABLE FINK
           OF THE WEST MOTHER O'LEERI
         ... SPOOKIE JACK-OJACK-OLANTERN!
HEMISPHERES &
SEMISPHERESI DUALSPHERES
CATASTROPHERES!
LEVITATION!
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE ACTUALLY.
WHY DIDN'T I LOOK INTO THIS BEFORE?
BLACK MIDNIGHT...
MEPHISTOPHEEL, DAMYANKEE DOLL 173 YEARS GONE...
CONDUIT (JACK'S CONDU)
. ROUMANIAN FROM TRANSCENDENDIAN MOORS &
MIRES...
WEIR AND WIRE MANIKINS, EVERYTHING!
BATONS!  BABOONS!  FIFI!
GLADIATORS!  THE WAR BETWEEN THE NEW NEW NORTH
& THE OL' MAN RIBBER SOUT...
RIOTS, ALL LEVITATING...
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
BAKER EDDY...
HOVERING...
ON WHAT...
...ON POT.
ON MARIJUANA!
                                HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! ##

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