(Copyright 2003 The Blacklisted Journalist)


Subject: Big Brother is Reading Your Mail
Date: Wed, 26 Feb 2003 23:01:02 -0800 (PST)

Dear Y'All:

The Feds have co-opted (taken over) some websites of enterprises which sell certain products which may be
described as drug paraphernalia, such as glass pipes, etc. 

What happens now is that when one visits these sites, they are immediately referred to an announcement that the site is engaged in illegal activity. I also understand that 'hits' on these sites are FWDed to Fed computers somewhere in the bowels of the J. Edgar Hoover Building. So there is a danger here in what I am about to suggest, for those who would prefer to keep their profiles low.

However, I think that if enough people pass this list on and act on it themselves that we can swamp the computers at Fedquarters. Then maybe these guys can get back to chasing terrorists and other important stuff, like keeping the breasts of the statue of Justice modestly covered.

Okay. Here's the list:

Thank you for being an American

Panama  ##

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Subject: FW: Bush School Visit
Date: Sat, 1 Mar 2003 15:16:17 -0800
From: "venire"

George Bush visited Kapaa [Kauai] School to see if he was still popular among the youth of America. He held a short speech to Mrs. Mukai's classroom and asked some children if they had any questions for him.

Kimo raised his hand and says: "I have three questions for you."

1) How did you win the election even though you had less total votes than Al Gore?

2) How can you justify attacking Iraq without the backing of the UN?

3) How can you condemn Iraq for possession of Weapons of Mass Destruction when the United States not only has the world's largest supplies of chemical, biologic and nuclear weapons, but is in fact the only nation in history to, at Hiroshima and Nagasaki, actually use them on a civilian population?

At that point the bell rings and all kids run out of the classroom.

After 5 minutes all the children are back inside and again Bush asks the children if there are any questions they would like to ask.

This time Joe raises his hand and says he has five questions.

1) How did you win the election even though you had less total votes than Al Gore?

2) How can you justify attacking Iraq without the backing of the UN?

3) How can you condemn Iraq for possession of Weapons of Mass Destruction when the United States not only has the worlds largest supplies of chemical, biologic and nuclear weapons, but is in fact the only nation in history, at Hiroshima and Nagasaki, to actually use them on a civilian population?

4) Why did the bell ring 20 minutes early?

5) Where is Kimo?  ##

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Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 22:14:50 -0500
From: "dick dettrey " 

Dear Al,

I thought that you might glean something of value from this piece that I wrote. 

Dick Dettrey


How many tragedies has war created? How many people have died, been crippled, robbed of any chance of a productive life? Who knows how many of those whom war has crippled and destroyed might have been great people? Among them may have been great scientists who would have made life even more brighter, more promising.

Were it not for war, the world would have become a great place to live long ago. In this age, we have the opportunity to build and create a fine and beautiful world.

The water and earth of this world have an endless supply of energy and raw material. There are flights to outer space as I write. This will give us an even greater chance to enrich life with rare elements and substances that may be more plentiful on planets other than earth. We could do this, were it not for war. Think about this before you wage war on Iraq, Mr. President, and what the consequences on both sides would be.

Is that asking too much from the one that was chosen to lead us? Is one man worth all of the suffering that will follow?

Dick Dettrey
40 Hospital Road, L-309
Tuxedo, NY 10987  ##

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Subject: Latest Commentary for WFPL-FM
Date: Sun, 16 Mar 2003 12:35:44 -0500
From: "Paul McDonald" 
To: "Al Aronowitz" 

This past weekend as I was getting depressed contemplating the current world situation I started reflecting on Paddy Chayefsky's mad prophet rant from the movie Network. You know, the one where Peter Finch, playing the demented, crazy-as-a-loon anchorman Howard Beale, starts babbling "I don't have to tell you things are bad?? and then ends with him raving into the camera, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore?? while the rest of the country at his behest leans out their windows and screams with him. 

Unfortunately these days it seems that everyone is mad as hell. More people than I care to think about are screaming out of their windows and there are enough mad prophets to keep the Fox Network supplied with reality TV for the next twenty years. 

It's during times like these that I tend to re-live certain moments of my childhood -- not necessarily a more innocent time as much as it was a more naive time. Thankfully the Columbia Broadcasting System gave me a much needed nudge in the right direction this past Sunday evening when they aired a totally absurd movie called "Back to the Batcave? about the old Adam West/Burt Ward Batman TV series from the sixties. Soon I found myself reveling in a time when DC comics were only 12 cents a copy. 

To say I liked that earlier version of Batman is an understatement. I was nine years old and I lived and breathed Batman for months at a time---at least until later that year when the Monkees appeared to broaden my aesthetic tastes. I bought every Batman comic I could get my hands on and I was firmly convinced there was such a place as Gotham City. Bear in mind that at the time I was living in Paducah and Metropolis, Illinois, home to another Superhero and Batman's best friend, was right across the river. 

I swallowed it all; hook line and sinker. The hokey plots, the wooden acting, the terrible dialogue, the Nelson Riddle Peter Gunn send-up of a theme song, and the ridiculous reasoning it took to find out what villain was behind whatever diabolical dilemma the dynamic duo dropped into. For example if the crime had something to do with the ocean, Robin would realize that the ocean is also called 'the sea." And sea stands for Catwoman. Problem solved. Laugh if you want but it made total sense to me and every other nine year old in the country. And the comic book words that flashed on the screen during the fight scenes were like finding the Holy Grail. I LIVED for moments like those! It was like Network Television validating my spirituality. 

As I watched the movie I began to wonder how the Adam West version of Batman might handle the current situation with Iraq. Picture this. Colin Powell unearths evidence that Saddam Hussein is in cahoots with the Riddler, the Joker, the Penguin and Catwoman while France, Russia and Germany STILL veto our UN resolutions for an invasion. An exasperated President Bush screams at Vice-President Cheney "Holy Fetid Quagmire of Diplomatic Drudgery, Dick! What'll we do now?? Vice-President Cheney goes to an undisclosed location and flashes the Bat Signal across the heavens. Somewhere two grown men in tights, totally oblivious to suggestive homoerotic imagery, slide down the Bat poles and blast out of the Batcave in an atomic powered 1955 Lincoln Futura. 

I must admit that imaging this scenario lightened my mood considerably. And if by some weird turn of events the Bat Signal does indeed appear over the White House and reports of UFO's over Iraq shaped like the words "OOF? "POW? and "KER-PLOP? begin to surface, I'll know that the President has decided to exercise a very interesting, and exceptionally cheesy, option.

Paul McDonald, 2003   ##

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