EMAIL PAGE FIVE
COLUMN EIGHTY-EIGHT, APRIL 1, 2003
(Copyright © 2003 The Blacklisted Journalist)
THREAT FROM A RIGHT-WINGER
Subject: Your articles
Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 23:28:22 -0800 (PST)
From: Anatoli Simyanovich <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Your articles are hillarious. Never before have I witnessed such propoganda in my life. You must need mescaline to keep from shooting yourself. Comparing "Bush" to a "Nazi", while proclaiming innocence of Iraq and its dictator. You are an enabler. You sit by and allow others to attrociously kill others. You are the same enabler as the Western Europeans who bent over for Hitler asking him only to go easy and use vaseline. Your beliefs are nothing but a vulgar farse in an attempt to condemn someone that you politically disagree with. Within one week, your website will be shut down... So, smile, you are being watched. You are paranoid about the CIA. Well, you are about to have reason to...and what is your ancestory again? May we profile you or just deport you to France? The U.N. is breaking and the French, German, and Belgium axis is about to be cast to the side, once the truth is revealed about their financial holdings in Iraq. ##
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WHEN HARRY MET ALLEN
Subject: When Harry Met Allen
Date: Sat, 22 Feb 2003 20:16:27 -0600
From: Harlan Wallach <email@example.com>
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THE DARK AGES FOR FREEDOM
Subject: Fwd: Please Read
Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2003 12:18:10 -0800 (PST)
From: Jennifer Osborne <firstname.lastname@example.org>
I don't think I have ever done this---used email to send out a plea for attention on a large scale, so hopefully you will not only forgive me, but understand just how important I think this is...
I know I'm a little slow sometimes, but I didn't know about the fine program on PBS, NOW with Bill Moyers. I picked a great time to find out though, as the weekend of Feb 7 the top story was a leaked document from the Department of Justice---the proposed next stage in the Patriot Act. Though not all bad, there are some shocking and never-before considered elements included in the legislation, not to mention how it has been handled thus far.
I don't agree about many things that the current administration is doing, but even if you do, I believe that the document at issue contains elements that not only breed suspicion, but may be unconstitutional, and not to put
to fine a point on it, begin to look like some things we are critical of in totalitarian regimes like China.
Read the interview and the document for yourself (and pass on this email if you see fit...)---it may auger the coming of the dark ages for freedom in this country. If this concerns you, contact your Congresspersons and make sure that the part of democracy we can participate in remains as strong as possible.
- J. - ##
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GOD BLESS THE IRISH!
Subject: God Bless the Irish
Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2003 20:12:26 EST
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.
"Hello, Mr. Hussein!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy."I'll have to get back to you."
Once again, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a few pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
God Bless the Irish!
Johnny "Zoom" Lynch
FLCC Advisory Board
"We Ride All Year"
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Date: Wed, 12 Mar 2003 20:24:29 흝
From: "john merton" email@example.com
What would the US do if Iraq just said "we surrender" Still invade " John ##
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SAD NEWS ABOUT RONNIE DAWSON
Subject: FW: Dire news on Ronnie Dawson
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 2003 11:31:23 -0500
From: Mark Kramer firstname.lastname@example.org
To: al aronowitz email@example.com
No nicer guy ever lead a more exemplary life than Ronnie Dawson. A true Texas Tornado: Action-packed
to the end...
------ Forwarded Message
From: "Charlie Oldham" firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 2003 10:08:07 -0500
Subject: Dire news on Ronnie Dawson
Bad news on Ronnie Dawson's condition from his wife Christine:
Hi to all of you, our extended family. I am writing to tell you that Ronnie had a biopsy done yesterday (Tuesday the 28th) and his cancer is back, in full force. His tongue is completely invaded and it has spread to his lungs and is incurable. His doctors have given him 9 months to 1 year. There is nothing that they can offer him in the way of treatment that he is willing to do. And even if he were willing to undergo horrible surgery which would involve removing his tongue and his lower jaw, which would mean not being able to speak, sing or even eat, it would only prolong this for another year or so of abject misery, not to mention removing part of his lungs. He has decided to live the way he wants for the time he has left. I wanted to personally write to you and let you know before you heard it from someone else. We are leaving here on the 26 of February to do the Rockabilly Rave in the UK and that could quite possibly be our last show. In the event we were offered a show somewhere and Ronnie felt up to it, we would do it, but this is the only thing scheduled at this point. The docs have told him to sing and run and just do whatever he wants as long as he feels like it. Don't hesitate to call him if you want, I know he will love hearing from you.
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