EMAIL PAGE SIX
COLUMN EIGHTY-SIX, MARCH 1, 2003
(Copyright © 2003 The Blacklisted Journalist)
SHE LOVED COLUMN 82
Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2003 04:23:05 EST
I love it. You are so right on with this problem. Our government is so blinded by its greed and inability to deal with cultural differences it is scary and hopeless to think that they are going to protect us. The best they can do is sell us out. I have been saying for years that someone should start a movement that no one with any ties to oil can run for office. Also, there should be a law ENFORCED that we begin immediately the conversion of alternative energy as our survival source of power and empowerment. It's over though. The world really doesn't have a chance with the fools running it the way they are. Anything short of a revolution will never change the way things are. People are asleep, as well as ignorant, dumb and stupid. The polls they devise ask the wrong questions and when they do ask anything near the real issues the people answer from their brainwashed ignorance. You are beautiful and I'm going to keep an eye out for your work. Take care of yourself! ##
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DUMB DUMBYA INSANITY SATIRIZED
Subject: Monty Python on BUSH/IRAQ/ SADDAM
Date: Wed, 05 Feb 2003 05:10:12 -0800
From: Anita Sands Hernandez email@example.com
Organization: StarPower Map of the Month
A Modest proposal by Python guy.
MONTY PYTHON ON SADDAM AND BUSH! HILARIOUS!
This is the unedited version of a piece by Terry Jones,
former of Monty Python, which
appeared in the Sunday Observer ...
INSANITY IN OUR STREET
I'm really excited by George Bush's latest reason for bombing Iraq: he's running out of patience. And so am I! You see for some time now I've been really pissed-off with Mr. Johnson who lives a couple of doors down the street. Well, him and Mr. Patel who runs the health food shop. They both give me queer looks, and I'm sure Mr. Johnson is planning something nasty for me, but so far I haven't been able to discover what.
I've been round
his place a few times while he was away just to see what he's up to, but he's
got everything really well hidden away. That's how devious he is. As for Mr.
Patel don't ask me how I know -I just know---from very good sources---that he is
in reality a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the whole street telling them that
if we don't act first he'll pick us all off one by one. Now some of my
neighbours say, if I've proof, why don't I go to the police? But of course
that's simply ridiculous. The police will say they need stupid stuff like
evidence or a crime to charge Mr. Johnson or Mr. Patel with. They'll come up
with endless red-tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive
strike--- all the while Mr. Johnson will be finalizing his plans to do terrible
things to me and Mr. Patel will be running around secretly murdering people.
Since I'm the only one in the street with a half-way decent range of fully
automatic fire-arms, I reckon it's up to me to keep the peace. But up until now
that's been a little difficult. Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear
that all I need to do is run out of patience, and then I can wade in and do
whatever I want! And let's face it, Mr. Bush's carefully thought-out policy
towards Iraq is certainly the only way to bring about international peace and
security. The one certain way to stop Moslem fundamentalist suicide bombers
targeting the US or the UK is to go and bomb a few Moslem countries that have
never threatened us. Exactly.
That's why I want to go and blow up Mr.Johnson's garage and
kill his wife and children. Strike first! That's only the way to teach him a
lesson. Then he'll leave us in peace and quiet and won't go round peering at me
in that totally unacceptable way. Mr. Bush makes it quite clear that all he
needs, in order to start bombing Iraq, is to know that Saddam is a really nasty
man and that he has WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION---even if no one can find them.
And I'm certain I've just as much justification for killing Mr. Johnson's wife
and children as Mr. Bush has for bombing Iraq. Mr. Bush says his long-term aim
is to make the world a safer place by eliminating 'rogue states' and
'terrorism'. It's such a clever long-term aim because how can you ever know when
you've achieved it?
How will Mr. Bush know when he's wiped out all terrorists?
When every single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist
once he's committed an act of terror. What about all those other would-be
terrorists who are just about to commit the next acts of terror? Those are the
ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the already known terrorists,
being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves. So perhaps Mr. Bush
will need to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future terrorist? Maybe
he can't be sure he's achieved his objective until every single Moslem
fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Moslems might convert to
fundamentalism? Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr. Bush to
eliminate all Moslems? This is what I propose in my street. Mr. Johnson and Mr.
Patel are just the tip of the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the
street who I don't like and who---well quite frankly---look at me in odd ways.
Nowhere and no one will be really safe until I've wiped them all out. My wife
says I might be going a little too far, but I tell her that I'm simply using the
same logic as the President of the United States. That shuts her up. If George
W. Bush can publicly state that Saddam Hussein is the most likely person to
supply Al-Qaida with WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION without anyone laughing in his
face, then I can say that Mr. Johnson down the road is actually an alien who has
designs on the whole planet. I know it might be hard to believe when you see him
trimming his hedge, but it's just as likely as Saddam's secularist Islamic
regime giving aid to a terrorist group belonging to a strict fundamentalist sect
like the Wahabis or Salafis (as they prefer to be called). Like Mr. Bush, I've
run out of patience, and if that's a good enough reason for the President, it's
good enough for me. I'm going to give the whole street two weeks...no! ten
days...to come out in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary
hijackers, galactic outlaws and interstellar terrorist master-minds and if they
don't hand them over nicely and say "Thank you" I'm going to bomb the
entire street to kingdom come. It's just as sane as what George W. Bush is
proposing---and, unlike what he's intending to do, it'll only destroy one
Terry Jones Jan 23/2003
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AARON THINKS I'M BIASED---I SAY WHY NOT?
Re: my comments on your biased reporting
Date: Mon, 3 Feb 2003 18:34:22 -0800 (PST)
From: Aaron Hughes firstname.lastname@example.org
To: al aronowitz email@example.com
was nonetheless surprised by your quick response.
So, that would mean that the left is right?
example, how was Clinton's missing years and clinton's lack of service in the
military different than Bush'? I
read the stuff posted on Bush but... I
think "BOTH" are weak men who lack courage.
guess if there is a Rush Limbaugh of the right there should be the likes of him
on the left.
again, thanks for your reply
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JOSH THINKS 'THE DUMB SOUND' IS A 'GREAT HISTORIC CHRONICLE'
Date: Fri, 07 Feb 2003 05:47:44 -0800
From: Josh Friedman firstname.lastname@example.org
To: Al Aronowitz email@example.com
Dumb Sound" is a mind-blower. Has everything sort of gone back to the way
it was then, except much, much worse? I don't know, but if America gets nuked to
oblivion, at least the record business gets nuked along with it. That would be
one of the benefits. A great historic chronicle that should be required reading.
Alan Friedman ##
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ANOTHER READER CONCERNED ABOUT MY HEALTH
Re: [AGALIST] COLUMN EIGHTY-FOUR
Date: Sat, 1 Feb 2003 10:59:17 -0000
From: "joyce.somerville" firstname.lastname@example.org
Al- I am so sorry to hear of your ill-health and hope that all goes well for
you. I love reading your stories about the music biz. Best wishes for a speedy
recovery. Joyce S. ##
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