COLUMN FIFTY-SIX, FEBRUARY 1, 2001
EULOGY FOR LAURETTE
[This an excerpt from Sophiaís
self-published book, PLANETARY OBSERVATIONS.]
Laurette Rose. My Friend and Partner. Co-Captain
of the trip.
I wish I knew exactly where you
went, so at least I'd have an address to write to.
It's been a while since I last asked you what your vision was the
afterlife. But that's because I
thought you were gonna be around for awhile. I tell ya Laurette.
I'm gonna dub you the Queen Of Bad Timing.
And on a weekend no less! I
gotta hand it to you. You know what
this means dontcha? It means I'm
gonna hafta finish off what we started all by myself.
Listen, if you had just asked, I woulda promised you more money. Is that what it was?
I doubt it. But still. Look
at the way you make me give my debut! You
stink. This is NOT the way we
planned it, girl. I told you I
hated that coming ascension stuff. Yeah
yeah, you're here in spirit and all that jazz.
I even dreamed of you on the night you died.
You woke me up with a loud noise near the chimney when you wanted
the memory of our conversation to stick. I
heard all your reasons as to not be sad for you.
You made your point. But
remember what I said as soon as I came to consciousness?
I said yeah, okay, I hear ya...but so what!
The fact of the matter is you're gone.
If I'm gonna get around to forgiving you, then you gotta forgive me my
feelings. ALL my feelings.
The only way I can see my way through this, is to
make a commitment to our friendship and follow through with our shared vision
the best way I can alone. Sure I'll
reach out to others but there's only one you. Look at you!
Who else do I know who wears a crocheted purple grape on her head when
the weather gets really cold? You have to be my friend if you dress in that
manner. We were the perfect team. Didn't you know that?! You knew it all right. You knew
together we could make our dream reality. This
was what you wanted. You had a new vision besides the coming ascension thing. I
mean, if anything Laurette, you coulda waited till November or something.
But maybe itís not wrong to have more
than one vision. I too am shaping
my own vision of the afterlife. But I'm not done yet. My vision's still cloudy.
I see myself traveling through the galaxy like a shooting star, aimed out
towards the Horsehead Nebula. That's about as far as Iíve gotten with it. You
on the other hand, might have been unknowingly in tune with something deeper
that told you it might be time for you to leave soon.
Everytime I cough, I will think of you.
in one way I'm glad you had some sort of plan for the afterlife ready at your
disposal. None of us knows when our
time will come. You're living proof! Except
you're dead now. But in this life only. I'll tell you one thing though Laurette, I believed in you.
If anybody could network it was you. You sure knew how to work the room!
the last thing, Laurette, since you re such a good networker, how bout helping
us all make our dreams come true? You got connections over there now, remember?
Listen, get everybody together over on your side, then tell 'em the plan.
Make sure they know that they're 'sposed to remove the hardest obstacles
that were in our paths before you went over.
This seems fair to me since I know that God is the God of fairness. How 'bout
we make a trade? We'll trade,
carrying the burden of your loss around with us, if everybody over there
promises to help
lighten up our loads in
Deal? Deal. ##
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