SECTION EIGHT

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COLUMN FIFTY-SIX, FEBRUARY 1, 2001

EULOGY FOR LAURETTE

[This an excerpt from Sophiaís self-published book, PLANETARY OBSERVATIONS.]

Laurette Rose.  My Friend and Partner.  Co-Captain of the trip.

I wish I knew exactly where you went, so at least I'd have an address to write to.  It's been a while since I last asked you what your vision was the afterlife.  But that's because I thought you were gonna be around for awhile. I tell ya Laurette.  I'm gonna dub you the Queen Of Bad Timing.  And on a weekend no less!  I gotta hand it to you.  You know what this means dontcha?  It means I'm gonna hafta finish off what we started all by myself.  Listen, if you had just asked, I woulda promised you more money.  Is that what it was?

I doubt it.  But still.  Look at the way you make me give my debut!  You stink.  This is NOT the way we planned it, girl.  I told you I hated that coming ascension stuff.  Yeah yeah, you're here in spirit and all that jazz.  I even dreamed of you on the night you died.  You woke me up with a loud noise near the chimney when you wanted the memory of our conversation to stick.  I heard all your reasons as to not be sad for you.  You made your point.  But remember what I said as soon as I came to consciousness?  I said yeah, okay, I hear ya...but so what!  The fact of the matter is you're gone.  If I'm gonna get around to forgiving you, then you gotta forgive me my feelings.  ALL my feelings.

The only way I can see my way through this, is to make a commitment to our friendship and follow through with our shared vision the best way I can alone.  Sure I'll reach out to others but there's only one you. Look at you!  Who else do I know who wears a crocheted purple grape on her head when the weather gets really cold? You have to be my friend if you dress in that manner. We were the perfect team. Didn't you know that?! You knew it all right. You knew that together we could make our dream reality.  This was what you wanted. You had a new vision besides the coming ascension thing. I mean, if anything Laurette, you coulda waited till November or something.

But maybe itís not wrong to have more than one vision.  I too am shaping my own vision of the afterlife. But I'm not done yet. My vision's still cloudy. I see myself traveling through the galaxy like a shooting star, aimed out towards the Horsehead Nebula. That's about as far as Iíve gotten with it. You on the other hand, might have been unknowingly in tune with something deeper that told you it might be time for you to leave soon.  Everytime I cough, I will think of you.

So, in one way I'm glad you had some sort of plan for the afterlife ready at your disposal.  None of us knows when our time will come. You're living proof!  Except you're dead now. But in this life only.  I'll tell you one thing though Laurette, I believed in you.  If anybody could network it was you. You sure knew how to work the room!                  

For the last thing, Laurette, since you re such a good networker, how bout helping us all make our dreams come true? You got connections over there now, remember?  Listen, get everybody together over on your side, then tell 'em the plan.  Make sure they know that they're 'sposed to remove the hardest obstacles that were in our paths before you went over.  This seems fair to me since I know that God is the God of fairness. How 'bout we make a trade?  We'll trade, carrying the burden of your loss around with us, if everybody over there promises to help lighten up our loads in some other manner. In return for this knowledge, none of us will ask what hardship is missing from our lives, but we'll know that, whatever our lives are like at the moment, it coulda been worse.

                                       Deal?  Deal.  ##

                   

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